even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
