I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
