the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
