I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
