oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
