i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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