It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
