fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
