she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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