I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
