Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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