did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
