my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
