She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
