The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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