I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
