if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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