Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
