If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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