He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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