White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
