i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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