Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Randomize