: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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