I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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