Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
