went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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