do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was like eating out sand paper
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
