we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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