Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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