Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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