both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
