i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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