i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
