I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize