I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You have to summon your inner elephant
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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