is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
