I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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