What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
