it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
