i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
