is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
