Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
