Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
