it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
