yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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