i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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