Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
