I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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