ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
