just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
