About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
