No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
