Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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