This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
