Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
