ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm always down for nudity.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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