We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
