Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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