Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
