We're facebook friends in real life
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
