I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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