i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize