$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
