In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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